The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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