I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
