Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
