I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize