I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
