Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
