If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
