remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
