I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
