I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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