I'm going to jail i love you
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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