It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
