I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
