My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize