so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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