I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
