Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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