woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
