why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
