i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
