Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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