there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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