Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize