hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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