there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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