Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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