I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
