Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
