Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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