I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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