Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
