it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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