Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
