My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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