Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
