i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It was confusing and full of hummus
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
