I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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