508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize