I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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