I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
