Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
