I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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