You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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