there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
