im drinking this country out of the recession.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
