oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think my vagina is haunted
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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