She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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