so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize