Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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