I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
