yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
