We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
