I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
