no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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