operation harelip BJ is a go
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
