Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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