New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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