You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
