I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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