She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This house was built for laser tag.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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