I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize