Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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