Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
