I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
